It's sort of weird being 23 and not knowing what you like to do with yourself. And I don't mean in the "oh shit, I just graduated from college and need to find a job but I'm not ready to pick a career" kind of way. I'm a med student, so whether I like it or not, the pile of debt I've accumulated in the last two years is sort of dictating how I'm going to be spending the foreseeable future. But a future career in medicine isn't filling the void I'm thinking about here. Do I like medicine? Yeah of course. Since apparently I have to have a non pro-athlete career, I'd choose being a doctor over anything else, but its still more of a "pays the bills" thing than a "omg I would spend my life savings to do this on my free weekends" sort of thing.
So what do I really mean? Well, if you said to me, "Hey MS2soon, take a couple of days off, do whatever you want and we'll see you in a week", my first move would be to take a very long nap. I'm on a constant hunt for nap opps. Half an hour between classes turns into a power nap under some examining table somewhere, even allotted lunch time turns into a dash towards a comfortable sleeping spot. As a group, med students are definitely somewhat sleep deprived, but what the hell is all this napping about? Most often, I think my mind plays a trick on me and leads me to nap so that I can get through more studying later that night or finish up some other menial task before collapsing headfirst into a mass of B.O. at the end of the day. The next day it's back to a seemingly never ending list of publications that need to get researched and written up, material to study for board exams, or ass-kissing to do for a residency application. But paradoxically, there can be too much time. Sometimes, I'm really not that tired or busy and I take a nap just to fill a void. Yeah, I know, I'll have some whine with my cheese, please.
The problem is not that med school sucks, because that has always been the case and will continue to be the case for everyone involved. It is that I've sucked at not being a med student when I don't have to be. I'm awful at filling my "free" time with wholesome goodness. And it isn't just a med student disease, there's a whole cadre of college grads with nothing to do. Yes, there's the whole unemployment rate issue, but maybe we have all been too focused chasing achievements and meeting deadlines to know anything about leisure. There's no proof, but that doesn't matter anyway. The point is that I, and maybe some others in my generation, don't really have any great passions. Instead of craftsmanship, there is crime, obesity, and naps! These damn naps are going to bring us down, America. But seriously, I need something to do. I work out occasionally, watch sports, have a girlfriend and a loving family, and enjoy beers with friends, but those are all ehhh (except if my girlfriend reads this, she's wonderful). So what's missing? I've got no clue but I wouldn't have started a blog if I did...
